Tuesday, May 1, 2012

LA LAW



It began simply enough. Last month in LA. A mother/daughter outing to a nail salon in Little Tokyo. A quiet Friday afternoon, nothing out of the ordinary. We anticipated an easy in and out. I was going to go with my usual mauve type color but Kate made a face. I picked up a bottle of blue. "This is pretty," I said. "Go with it," my daughter said. "Try something new." We agreed. I was going to do blue fingers and toes. Kate was going with blue toes, but green fingers. Okay it was set. They were mainly Korean, I think, the people who worked there. They were nice and the place was clean. They put us in side by side pedicure chairs and two women went to work on our feet. Kate and I are both very ticklish so we were gripping the sides of the chairs, laughing away. Two chairs down a woman with blond hair, perhaps about my age, in what looks like a pale blue Chanel jacket, sat with her eyes closed in a kind of swoon. A man was working meticulously on her feet. Time passed. The man moved on to the woman's hands and soon our feet were done. The trouble began just after our manicures started. Kate and I sat, hands in bowls of soapy warm water, when we heard the commotion to our right. Something was wrong with the woman in the other chair. She was holding up the sample color of her nailpolish and shouting at the man who had just spent two hours working on her. "Does this look transparent? This is transparent." She shook the sample stick in his face. "Do these nails look transparent to you?" Kate and I looked at one another, then around the salon. On the TV George Clooney had just been arrested for his protests in Washington regarding the faminine and deaths in Sudan. Two blocks from us was a tent city where men were living on the street. And this woman was screaming at the man who'd done her nails because the color wasn't transparent. The man was saying to her, as gently as possible, that if she hadn't liked the color, she should have noticed before he'd done all ten of her fingers and toes. The owner of the salon offered to redo the manicure. The pedicure it seemed was all right. But the woman stormed out of the salon, refusing to pay for anything. We were all stunned. The owner ran after the woman, shouting that she had to pay for the pedicure. The man who had worked on her just sank into a chair, shaking his head. That is when the fight insued. Before we knew it there were shouts from outside. Apparently the woman in the Chanel jacket was taking pictures of the nail salon to post on yelp and other sights and show what a horrible place this was. The owner of the salon thrust her hand at the woman to stop her from taking a picture and the woman's cell fell to the ground, cracking its twenty-five dollar casing. As our nails were drying, the LAPD arrived. Two officers came in, shaking their heads. Names were taken. Charges implied. The woman in the Chanel who drove the Mercedes was going to sue the salon for...I'm not sure what...but Kate and I agreed to be on the witness list. "We saw it all, Officers," we told them as we signed a yellow pad. Then it was over. The woman left. Our nails were dry. The owner of the salon offered the officers a free manicure or pedicure if they liked. The larger of the two, a Hispanic man, said, "Maybe I'll send my wife over here." Kate thinks these kinds of stories just follow me around. This is kind of what I love about traveling. And about LA. I'm not sure I can see this incident going down quite like this in NYC. The playing field is a little evener here, but it is nice to get away and have the cops called because of a manicure. And I am pleased to report that no arrests were made at the salon.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

A Rose by Any Other Name...



The other day at the Botanic Garden here in Brooklyn I came across this sign for a rose bush. All I can say is I identify.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Yesterday morning, Palm Springs

Swan Song



Drove through freezing rain. Five accidents on the road. Arrived at Palm Springs. Cold, rainy. Snow in the mountains. Spent Sunday at the Ace Hotel. Here's Kate, hanging out with a plastic swan.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Texts from Larry during a recent delay at Miami airport:



Below is a series of actual texts I received from my husband as he was trying to get from Miami to Key West:
AM IN MIAMI. LEAVING 4 KW. 9:32 a.m.
AM DELAYED 9:4 5A.M. BLECH! HOPING TO LEAVE MIAMI AT NOON NOW. 10:45 A.M.
LOVE U 10:48 A.M.
CREW FROM FREEPORT HASN'T ARRIVED YET.
A REAL S...T SHOW 10:59 A.M.
DUNNO HALF HOUR AGO PLANE HADN'T LEFT FREEPORT.
IT'S MANANA STYLE, BABY. 11:04 A.M.
CAN'T W8 2CU 11:06 A.M
NOPE 11:11 A.M.
LATEST DEPARTURE IS 11;30 BUT I AM NOT OPTIMISTIC 11:15 A.M.
JUST NOW 11:21 A.M.
SOON THEY SAY WILL TEXT MORE WHEN I KNOW 11:23 A.M.
BOARDING 11:49 A.M.
I WAS MISINFORMED. 11:54 A.M.
STILL DELAYED 11:56 A.M.
LATEST EST DEPARTURE 12:30 HAVE MOJITOS READY 12:01 P.M.
NOW 1P.M. AM PLOWING AHEAD WITH STUDENT WORK. AT LEAST MOST WILL BE DONE. 12:15 P.M.
LATEST IS 2/P/M. HOW DO YOU SPELL JETBLUE? 1:30 P.M.
AM BOARDING 1:36 P.M.
K 1:37 P.M.
JUST SITTING ON TARMAC. 1:59 P.M.
LEAVING. 2:05 P.M.
LAND HO 2:44 P.M.

Monday, November 21, 2011

The Seat Guru




Last night I was on a plane back from Milwaukee, packed with cheeseheads (Packers fan) and Orothodox Jews. The Packers had just won and the Orthodox were traveling in large family groups, probably heading to New York for the holidays. I, of course, could not have known this when I book my flight and reserved my seat.

However, that morning, as I was printing out my boarding pass, I did what I always do. I checked the seating chart for the plane. I noticed that I was seated near the front, which I like, but that every seat in the first ten rows was taken. Towards the back there was plenty of room. A red flag went up. "Traveling sports team." "High School field trip."

Not knowing what lay ahead I immediately changed my seat to an empty row, albeit near the back, but one where I felt I had a fighting chance at some peace and quiet with which to work and maybe even a little room to spread out.

My seating needs, however, are always quite specific. An aisel on the right hand side of the plane facing the cockpit in the middle of coach. Why the specificity? Once when I was making this request, the ticket person asked me this same question. In fact, she said, sometimes other people asked for the aisel on the right hand side. Why is that? she wondered.

Because they're left handed, I explained. Left-handed people hate to bump other people. We need to protect our wings (ie. arms, not those of the plane type). As to the middle of coach. Have you ever sat near the bathrooms? Or the galley where the crew chats away all night?

Anyway last night as I approached the gate, I knew I'd made the right move. Dozens of Packers fans, many wearing spongey cheesehead hats were waiting to board. As were the Orthodox Jewish families (I feel it's all right to say this as I am Jewish, but I was very glad not to be sitting at the end of a row amidst a family of say, eight small children.

I was Zone 7, in the back, Row 22. Three seats all to myself and lots of room to grow.

My husband often thinks we are "lucky" when it comes to getting good seats on planes. "Boy, amazing how we got those bulkheads," he said on a trip to France as we traveled with two children. Amazing. I spent quite a bit of time on the phone actually with the airlines before this occurred.

Or he thinks I'm obsessed. Why do I fight so hard to get those two little seats on the side in the middle of coach? He stopped asking that question when once on a flight to Palermo we were in the middle of this time large Sicilian families who all wanted to sit next to one another but solved the problem by shouting across the rows to their family members throughout the flight.

Am I a little claustrophobic? Yes. I can't bear being trapped between two strangers or pressed against a window when I can't escape. And a little obsessive? That was well.

But am I more comfortable when I fly. Definitely. And my husband can attest to this too.

By the way a small travel tip: The Seat Guru is an actual website where you can see the configuration of any plane before you book your seats. I use it ALL the time!!!